A Friend for a Smeghead
by The Type 40 TARDIS
Summary: Rimmer/OC - What if when the crew found Kryten on the asteroid between Series II and III, they also found a light bee that contained a hologram of Rimmer's best friend? Meet Leticia "Lucy" Doreen. Join her as she joins the Dwarfers and travels through space and helps to generally smeg things up. A revision of Series III and first in the "For a Smeghead" series.


**A/N: OK, I know I said DOCTOR WHO in **_**The Doctor, the Ponds and the Kidnappers **_**(there should be a chapter soon, I have a cunning plan for it) but it wasn't working very well. So instead I've created a RED DWARF OC series. The pairing will be Rimmer/OC and I'll explain later why I chose Rimmer. This story will start between Series II and Series III. This story is going to be a revision of Series III, starting with an original chapter.**

**Disclaimer: _Red Dwarf_ does not belong to me, it belongs to Grant Naylor. Only my OC belongs to me!**

Prologue

Rimmer was feeling depressed, as per usual. Lister, Holly, the Cat and himself had just managed to repair the Holly Hop Drive and had taken Jim and Bexley (Lister's sons, who HE gave birth too) back to the female-orientated Universe. When they got back, the Holly Hop Drive was binned straight away.

Rimmer sighed, and looked around the grey sleeping quarters. Rimmer could sympathise with the walls, he felt exactly the same. Lister was fast asleep on the top bunk. Snoring as he normally did – like a chainsaw that seriously needed repair work but the logger was obviously too oblivious to realise it. He sighed, got up and walked out the sleeping quarters, wishing that his best friend was there. Oh, Lucy…

Holly looked at Rimmer, wishing she could do something to help him. Holly knew how it felt to lose someone you loved and to never be able to see them again. She had just lost Hilly, the female version of the senile computer that ran _Red Dwarf_. But unlike Rimmer, she changed her appearance to look like Hilly, to preserve the memory.

Rimmer walked into the Drive Room and looked around at the complex computer systems that ran the ship. He didn't understand what they did; Second Technicians hardly went into the Drive Room to repair things there. First Technicians did but that was purely because they needed to learn what they did to pass their exams to be a somebody on board. He once tried to learn what they did but it was completely beyond him. Lucy could help him learn, but she wasn't here. She never became a member of _Red Dwarf_. Oh, Lucy…

A beeping from a computer snapped Rimmer out of his thoughts. He walked over to see what it wanted. _Red Dwarf_ appeared to be flying over an asteroid. Rimmer shook his head. For some reason, the ship had decided that the asteroid was very important. Rimmer sighed and voice-activated the ship's intercom.

"Lister, Cat, we have a problem. Get out of bed and get to the Drive Room quickly."

Lucy could help if she was here, but she wasn't. Why couldn't Lucy have joined _Red Dwarf_ instead of the _Oregon_? The same computer beeped again. Rimmer looked at the screen a bit clearer. His eyes widened. There were two main pieces of debris. One looked like a mechanoid, the other a hologram light bee! Rimmer activated the intercom again.

"Oi, smeg-for-brains! Hurry up, there's a mechanoid and a light bee on an asteroid the ship's passing over!"

**- Prologue -**

Half an hour later, the stench of Lister and a chicken vindaloo came into the Drive Room, followed up quickly by Lister, who was eating a vindaloo. The Cat followed about ten minutes later, his hair in a shower cap, his skin still damp.

"About time!" exclaimed Rimmer.

"What's wrong, Rimmer?" asked Lister. He wasn't happy that the hologram had awakened him.

"There's a mechanoid and a light bee on an asteroid below us and the debris of a space bike…" Rimmer trailed off and Lister's eyes lit up in realisation.

"You mean Kryten is down there?" Lister had honestly missed the mechanoid who he taught to break his programming.

"And a light bee, yep." Lister smiled and ran out of the Drive Room and to the nearest lift. By the time the lift had arrived, Rimmer and the Cat had caught Lister up. They took the lift down to the cargo bay. Rimmer had a grin plastered on his face; the light bee had an _Oregon_ code on it...

**- Prologue -**

_Starbug_ flew out of the cargo bay; the Cat's piloting caused it to hit the doorway on the way out. The trio were looking at the navicomp. Half an hour to the asteroid. Rimmer turned to look at the scanner. The mechanoids CPU ident confirmed it was indeed Kryten. The light bee's scan code claimed it was an _Oregon_ light bee. ORE-2773-4653-GON. Definitely from the _Oregon_. Rimmer's light bee had a scan code on it, all light bee's did. The purpose was so if the light bee had been switched off and lost, the finder could return it to the right J.M.C. craft. Rimmer's code was REDD-7634-4323-WARF. The best thing was Rimmer recognised whose light bee that was by the code. Oh, Lucy…

_Starbug_ landed on the asteroid. Lister and the Cat, dressed in the J.M.C.-issued spacesuits, floated out of the ship. Rimmer walked out the ship without any problem. The Cat was complaining about how "unfashionable" the suits were, Lister was complaining about how the Cat wasn't helping to pick Kryten's lifeless body up and Rimmer was walking around, looking for the light bee. By the time Lister and the Cat had finally got Kryten into _Starbug_, Rimmer had located the light bee.

"Listy, come and help!" shouted a very excited Rimmer. Lister sighed from inside the _'bug_ and walked out. He quickly located Rimmer and walked to him and the light bee.

"Yes, Rimmer?"

"Switch the light bee on, quick!" exclaimed Rimmer. Lister shook his head, picked up the light bee and switched it on. The light bee jumped out of his hand and its start-up programme started – and failed after creating a physical form, a human female. "Error 4067 – unable to establish connection to J.M.C. craft 673466-562, codename: _Oregon_."

"SMEG!" shouted an extremely pissed-off Rimmer. The light bee switched itself off and dropped back into Lister's hand.

"Why are you so upset that this light bee won't work?" asked Lister, "in fact, who was the woman?"

"My best friend," was the only answer given before Rimmer walked back to _Starbug_.

**- Prologue -**

When Lister had returned with the light bee, Rimmer was talking to Holly.

"Can you establish a connection to the _Oregon_'s hologram banks?" asked Rimmer.

"I'll try as I know how much it means to you to get the light bee going," answered a – sympathetic?! – Holly.

"Thanks, Hol," said a miserable Rimmer. He sulked off to sit in the mid-section. Lister actually felt sorry for Rimmer.

"Poor smeghead," sighed Lister as he sat down next to the Cat to help pilot the _'bug_.

**- Prologue -**

Two weeks after they had picked up Kryten and the light bee, many things had changed on _Red Dwarf_. Kryten had to be returned to the factory settings but due to a few cock-ups by Holly, he had a bad Canadian accent. It also meant that Lister was going to have to break his programming – again! Lister and Rimmer moved into an Officer's Sleeping Quarters, using Kryten to move Rimmer's stuff.

Unfortunately, Holly hadn't managed to hack her way into the _Oregon_'s hologram banks. But Rimmer never gave up hope. He'd even managed to get Kryten and Lister to help. They had realised that the light bee meant a lot to Rimmer and between the three of them (Holly, Kryten and Lister), they nearly had hacked their way through.

**- Prologue –**

It had been a month since the discovery and today was the day that Rimmer had been waiting for. The light bee had an established connection, in fact the _Oregon_'s ship computer sent them the person whose light bee it was. Rimmer had dressed in a emerald green suit as opposed to his usual Second Technician's suit. The Dwarfers were all in the Drive Room, Kryten and Holly doing some last minute checks, Lister drinking a can of lager and eating a mutton vindaloo, the Cat was doing his hair again and Rimmer was nervous. It had been five years since he had last seen his best friend – not counting the three million year gap.

"Right, sirs, initiating boot-up sequence," Kryten tapped a few buttons into the keyboard. The light bee hovered upwards. "Download physical form." The silhouette of the same female human came back into existence. "Access personality banks, download characteristics." Lister, Rimmer and the Cat listened to the characteristics being called out and then a woman about twenty-five years old came into full view. She had long, blonde hair, was the same height as Rimmer, wore a red dress, and was very beautiful.

The woman looked around the Drive Room and then saw Rimmer.

"Arnie-Arn!" she breathed.

"Lucy," Rimmer breathed back. They ran towards each other and they hugged. Lister saw an emotion he'd never seen before on Rimmer's face. In fact, two: absolute love and happiness.

"Gentlemen, meet Leticia Doreen," Rimmer introduced to the others, "Lucy, meet Lister, the Cat, Kryten and Holly." He pointed at each one as he said their names. Lucy looked at Lister, furious. Then she walked right up to him and shouted at him: "You upset and hurt Arnie-Arn! If you do carry on whilst I'm bloody here, I will find a way to hurt you like you hurt my best friend!" Rimmer held his hand towards Lucy and she took it. They walked out together, leaving the others dumbstruck at this new woman, the Cat, Kryten and Holly shocked at the fact someone actually LOVED Rimmer, Lister shocked the fact she had just told him off for everything he had done to Rimmer.

This woman... This woman would either destroy the Dwarfers or become an honoured member…

**- Prologue –**

Rimmer was over the moon. He had his only true friend back and she was just how he remembered her.

Lucy was over the moon. She had her only true friend back – the only person she had ever loved – and he was just how she remembered him.

Rimmer and Lucy walked, hand in hand, towards an Officer's Sleeping Quarters. One with a double bed, as Rimmer remembered she'd always preferred them. They walked there and entered it. It was a light blue colour – Lucy and Rimmer's favourite colour – and it was really nice. The double bed had red sheets on it.

"Thank you, Arnie-Arn!" she kissed Rimmer on the cheek.

"You're really, extremely welcome, Lucy!" he hugged her.

"Do you want to share?" asked Lucy.

"Like when we were children, staying at your house?"

"Yeah!"

Rimmer didn't reply back. He turned around and walked out. Lucy smiled, sadly, and sighed like a woman who was hopelessly in love. Which, of course, she was!

**A/N 2: Well, welcome to the story, **_**A Friend for a Smeghead**_**, and enjoy. **_**Backwards**_** will be up soon. Every episode will be one chapter long and at the end of each series, there will be an original chapter where the story might actually change.**

**Please read and review!**

**Until the next time...**

**Geronimo, The Type 40 TARDIS!**


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